My Life

feels like my childhood was surviving my dad, locking ourselves in rooms from him being so scary, listening to fighting and arguing scared he’d hurt mom, unable to leave because of the situation, i know he was truly my daddy inside he wasn’t like this inside him, being scared of losing karli and daddy, worrying, saying goodbye to karli over and over different times, waiting up for her to come home from the er, and then getting sick, dealing with that, erica getting sick, daddy going into a nursing home, losing karli and daddy, trying to figure out how to live life without them, trying not to rely on people so much, going to events for support and then everything goes back when you go home, trying to attack the symptoms and understand them enough to control them at all, trying to find a good doctor, get sicker and sicker and sicker feeling all of it sooo sickk all the time, watching erica get sick, watching my mom go from mom to caregiver to maid to 24/7 carer, things i never thought i’d have happen, but through it all being able to help jhdkids still!! This disease controls my life. But GOD Controls Even More Then This Disease!! Alleluia

-Jacey-

and this is the non descriptive version

karli and mom (43)

Trapped

muscle seizures are extra fun if you forgot or didn’t think you’d be getting out of bed to need it, so your on the floor hitting your head instead this is you know those tall chairs they have instead of regular ones, we have those and i wasnt wearing my helmet and seizure and fell off the side of the chair onto the puppies (who are safe) banging my head hard against the wall several times thankfully not hitting my head first, these are the sick seizures uncontrollable feeling them but not being able to scream or anything its cruel this disease twists everything the worst is when you walk out of the doctors crying because they said they can’t help you, except now it’s considered a normal thing for me to have these theres worse.. now add the stomach flu.. a cold.. teeth issues.. real seizures.. extreme stomach pain that comes with jhd, then you have to shower which causes seizures and extreme fatigue so basically mom has to shower me it’s just so ridiculous.

Sick Of It

sick of this disease it takes and takes and takes and takes i can’t even eat pizza or soda my antacid doesnt take it all away so gatorade is a small timing but good way of hydrating i dont feel i can drink enough ice cream is out for the moment hot chocolate is what im using my med in now and what to eat with it hm… what the hel* can i eat anymore!! stop messing with me these wires this pain these rules you create to destroy me my God is bigger then you but this succkkksss

Slavery

A SLAVE MAY HAVE BEEN THE LAST PERSON TO WASH YOUR CAR. A SLAVE MAY HAVE BEEN THE LAST PERSON TO PAINT YOUR NAILS. A SLAVE MAY HAVE BEEN THE LAST PERSON YOU TIPPED IN A RESTAURANT. SLAVERY IS EVERYWHERE. Average age 12 years old average rescue 1-2% There are more slaves in the world today than at any other point in human history please share share share share!! http://www.a21.org/

Living The Impossible

i believe it so much i wear the bracelet to go with it lol i loved Flyleaf, now i really love Lacey Sturm seperate from them it’s much more personal and passionate i think God meant for it to work out the way it did if you want one that reminds you of like jhdkids i recommend run to you

anyways this is the song i believe in so much

My Cousin

My new cousin isn’t he cute?! and he’s named after me!! His name’s Jace. I think once i feel good enough i’ll go pick him up I have a feeling he’ll get his stroller sooner then me, it’ll be like a reversal!! Too bad my walker wouldn’t fit him lmao

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